Thanks God, for the fun of words.

Mary Anne Hoberman has a books of children's poems called Yellow Butter Purple Jelly Red Jam Black Bread.  Although I do not like all of them, many are piles of fun.   'Whale' for one:

A whale is stout about the middle,
He is stout about the ends,
& so is all his family
& so are all his friends.

He's pleased that he's enormous,
He's happy he weighs tons,
& so are all his daughters
& so are all his sons.

He eats when he is hungry
Each kind of foods he wants,
& so do all his uncles
& so do all his aunts.

He doesn't mind his blubber,
He doesn't mind his creases,
& neither do his nephews
& neither do his nieces.

You may find him chubby,
You may find him fat,
But he would disagree with you:
He likes himself like that.

Homemaking a Limiting Occupation?

Rachel says no way, but decide for yourself.   This lovely article may help you think it through further.

http://www.feminagirls.com/2011/11/29/how-do-we-love-thee-let-me-count-some-ways/

Morning Prayer from II Samuel 5.

Father, Creator of all,
Grant that each of my children would feed on your word
and be satisfied and full of worship,
and say with David,
"The Lord has burst through my enemies before me like a bursting flood."

What I said at our son David's wedding.

Abbie, welcome to our family.

I think we need to give you a little history on David.  I have kept a book of conversations and statements heard around the house and so I am a primary source on this history.
So here are a few nuggets from the world through the eyes of a little boy named David Edward Paulson.

Early on we had a burden to give our children a Christian worldview.   So we were excited when we saw it catching on.

One spring my daffodils had come up and it began to snow.   I was worried that my flowers might freeze and never bloom.  David was four years old and hearing my concern and said,
"Mommy, you don't need to worry too much about flowers.  They're not real persons."

How is this for a theology of hair?  One day when I was getting David ready for nap he stated, "Mommy, even when you have a French braid, God knows how many hairs you have."
David, at four you believed that God knows all things.   May you always have that big of a God -- who knows all things and can do all of his holy will.

One day we were doing a science experiment with celery -- putting it in colored water to see how the celery drinks the water.   I told the children that the celery drinks like we do from a straw but very quietly.   At night as daddy was tucking David in he said, "I'm going to be as quiet as celery drinking water."

As I reviewed my record of conversations with my children I realized that David's interest in bikes goes back a long ways:
Of course we started with a tricycle, but soon David was ready to graduate.  As he anticipated, he said,
"Mommy, I'm so excited about getting a two-wheeler.  Aren't you excited?"
"yes, I am."
(pause)  " I think I'm more excited than you are."

One day David asked me why I didn't wear a bib when I was eating.
I told him that bibs were for people who were still learning to eat.
He thought and then said  "So bibs are kind of like training wheels."

After he had been riding for a while he said one day, "I'm sure glad they made bicycles the way they did -- with a seat so you can rest a bit and with handles for your hands."

David was a significant part of my sanctification.   I started motherhood indecisive and eager to avoid conflict.  But of course the two options with a healthy two-year old are either to grow up and take charge or else be ruled by the child.   This latter option became less and less attractive as time went on and I prayed for God to help me exercise the authority he had given me.  Thank you, David for playing that part in my sancfication.

I am deeply grateful that God has called you to himself.  
As Moses set out to shepherd God's people through the wilderness he said that He did not want to go if God did not go with them.  I know, David, that that is your heart also.  As you bear the burden of providing and protecting and vision casting, remember that you always have Your tender Father in heaven who is your provider and protector and who has not  called you to labor in your own strength.  Lean hard on him.  He will comfort, honor, and satisfy.

Abbie, if God should be pleased to grant you children, I pray that you will have both a love and respect for your calling at home.  Nancy Wilson on her blog Femina says that very few in our day do so.  I confess with sadness that I have not loved and respected my calling at home as I should have. A respect for our calling at home is realizing that the position of mother is a position of considerable influence.  Because this is true, Satan has worked very hard to belittle the position. Secular media lately accused the mother at home of swapping her mind for a mop.  Fight falling prey to this lie.   To love our calling at home is  to find joy in it, to provide a place for rest and happiness.  May God give abundant grace for you to both love and respect your calling at home.

My prayer for you is taken from I Kings 8, Solomon's prayer for the dedication of the temple:
May the Lord, who is like none other, showing steadfast love to his servants, have his eyes open to you day and night and his ears open to your prayers.   When you come into want or sickness because you have sinned -- for there is no one who does not sin -- if you repent with all your mind and heart, and plead with God, then I pray God will hear you and forgive.  And out of the grace that God  extends to you, may you extend grace to each other.   We could not wish you better.

Where to Get Vision ...without which the people die.

If you are in survival mode, bored, unexcited about the future, weary in well-doing, you may need to order some Christian books from Vision Forum.   Just as a butterfly should intrigue us, so we should look at marriage, work, children, education, and economics, and marvel at it and at the opportunity we have to steward it all for the glory of God.
Go to www.visionforum.com .   If you have never seen their website, go and browse. The product write-ups alone may kick start your vision!

Fun setting the table...

True confession.
I have not in the past enjoyed setting the table, and because my heart has not been in it, I have mostly done it carelessly.   I say this with sadness.   I have not loved my calling at home as I should.
Nancy Wilson recently inspired me to set the table for Thanksgiving more carefully than I ever have. Look here for her article:  http://www.feminagirls.com/2011/11/22/thanksgiving-prep/
It was too late to get tulips (my favorite flowers) but I dug out a pretty tablecloth and placed a fall themed runner with candles.  I put a blooming African Violet in the middle, and it was really quite lovely.  (Sorry, I forgot to take a picture.)  I have become so practical that I gave away a lovely pink tablecloth with napkins that we got for our wedding.
I am actually excited about taking better care of my home.  I want to make it a place where my husband and children love to be.  And I have a plaque about an unseen guest.....

Our oldest son, David, got married and here is evidence.....

Our daughter Ruthiey took pictures and just posted yesterday.   Enjoy.
http://colormylifewithlove.blogspot.com/2011/11/let-not-man-separate.html

David and Goliath in "Collision"

Wouldn't you know it?  David and Goliath are alive and well -- though their weapons this time are not swords or spears, but words.

Christopher Hitchens is an anti-theist and Douglas Wilson is a Christian pastor. Hitchens is an intimating giant.  He is articulate and has an astonishing vocabulary.  Ironically, he got the vocabulary in Christian England.  Doug Wilson says, "Someone with a large vocabulary is never without a rock to throw, so long as he has a mind to throw it."  Christopher throws rocks at God and his people. And Doug Wilson has stood up and says "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?" 

These men spent three days together at various venues debating publicly whether Christianity is good for the world.  You can watch the record of that in the movie "Collision."

Hitchens thinks that we have to "reject outmoded concepts.  We have to get rid of the idea that there is a God in Heaven, telling us the difference between right and wrong."  In the past, before we knew about germs, we needed God to explain sickness.   Now we know better.  And we don't need an idea of a God in order to keep people good because people all have a innate sense of right and wrong.  In fact, says Hitchens, it is more noble to do something because we wanted to than because we were told to.

In reply, Wilson slings a well-aimed stone:  Without God, who defines right and wrong?

Hitchens has many opinions of what is right and wrong.   And he is right about many of them, thanks to his nurture in Christian England.  In fact, Wilson says Hitchens would make a good Puritan.  But if there is no God, if above us there is only sky, and we are a series of chemical reactions, there is finally no basis for right or wrong.  And what today is called wrong, will tomorrow be called right.  Hitchens is borrowing from the Christian worldview when he asserts there is right and wrong.  He is not being consistent with his evolutionary worldview.

Hitchens calls Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "simply evil."  In answer, Wilson says "If there is no God, then Hussein, Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmininejad have no God.  But if they have no God, then it follows that Hitchens is not their god either.  And if Hitchens is not their god, why should they care what he calls them?  There is no god, and Hitchens is not his prophet."

Further, Wilson says of Hitchens, "his indignation is a floating indignation because it is not anchored to anything outside man.  And like all such things that float on the surface of turbulent ocean currents, in a couple of generations that indignation is likely to be a long way away from here"

Hitchens is himself inconsistent -- repulsed by the idea of a pregnant woman being kicked while lying on the ground but defending the killing of that same baby while the woman lies on a table at the local abortion clinic.  Wilson calls him on this in the movie.

Peter Hitchens is the only brother of Christopher Hitchens.  Peter was also an atheist, but is now a Christian.  In his book The Rage Against God Peter tells us that consciously or unconsciously, the atheist is one because he wants to do what he wants to  do when and how he wants to do it.   Psalm 10:4 says "In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, 'There is no God.'

Peter also explains that influential atheists like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens live in the afterglow of the Christian west.   Their morality is still largely informed by it.   But the morality of future generations will not be, and the darkness that they are calling forth is beyond what they could imagine.  The London riots -- five days of random, wanton violence and destruction -- give a little window into what may be coming.   When asked why they participated, two girls answered, "It is the government's fault.   We did it to show them that we could."

Christopher Hitchens is presently dying from esophageal cancer.  He is using a  treatment  designed by evangelical scientist Francis Collins, but prospects are not good.  Pray for his salvation.

180 movie.... Pass it on.

Ray Comfort has made an powerful movie that is changing people's minds on abortion.
He clearly shows that the American abortion holocaust dwarfs the German Jewish holocaust.
There are some photos of the German holocaust.
See www.180movie.com

Bunyan's heart "softened by her [his wife's] tenderness and obedience"

Here is a sweet excerpt from the Memoirs of John Bunyan by George Offor that demonstrate the powerful influence of a godly wife:

"In this forlorn and miserable state, he was induced, by the persuasion of friends, under the invisible guidance of God, to enter into the marriage state. Such a youth, then only twenty years of age, would naturally be expected to marry some young woman as hardened as himself, but he made a very different choice. His earliest biographer says, with singular simplicity, 'his poverty, and irregular course of life, made it very difficult for him to get a wife suitable to his inclination; and because none that were rich would yield to his allurements, he found himself constrained to marry one without any fortune, though very virtuous, loving, and conformably obedient and obliging, being born of good, honest, godly parents, who had instructed her, as well as they were able, in the ways of truth and saving knowledge.'[45] The idea of his seeking a rich wife is sufficiently droll; he must have been naturally a persuasive lover, to have gained so good a helpmate. They were not troubled with sending cards, cake, or gloves, nor with the ceremony of receiving the visits of their friends in state; for he says, that 'This woman and I came together as poor as poor might be, not having so much household stuff as a dish or spoon betwixt us both.'[46] His wife had two books, The Plain Man's Pathway to Heaven, and The Practice of Piety; but what was of more importance than wealth or household stuff, she had that seed sown in her heart which no thief could steal.[47] She enticed and persuaded him to read those books. To do this he by application 'again recovered his reading, which he had almost lost.' His wife became an unspeakable blessing to him. She presents a pattern to any woman, who, having neglected the apostolic injunction not to be unequally yoked, finds herself under the dominion of a swearing dare devil. It affords a lovely proof of the insinuating benign favour of female influence. This was the more surprising, as he says, 'the thoughts of religion were very grievous to me,' and when 'books that concerned Christian piety were read in my hearing, it was as it were a prison to me.' In spite of all obstacles, his rugged heart was softened by her tenderness and obedience, he 'keeping on the old course,'[48] she upon every proper season teaching him how her father's piety secured his own and his family's happiness. Here was no upbraiding, no snubbing, no curtain lectures; all was affectionate, amiable mildness. At first, he became occasionally alarmed for his soul's salvation; then with the thought of having sinned away the day of grace, he plunged again into sin with greediness; anon a faint hope of mercy would fill him with fear and trembling. But this leads us to the wondrous narrative of his new birth.

John Wesley asks his mother about her educational methods.....

“The writing anything about my way of education I am much adverse to. It cannot, I think, be of service to anyone to know how I, who have lived such a retired life for so many years, used to employ my time and care in bringing up my own children. No one can, without renouncing the world, in the most literal sense, observe my methods; and there are few, if any, that would entirely devote above twenty years of the prime of life in hopes to save souls of their children, which they think may be saved without so much ado; for that was my principal intention, however unskillfully and unsuccessfully managed.” (Franklin Wilder, Immortal Mother, New York: Vantage Press, 1966, p. 43; italics added.)

Respect with Skin on -- How a Woman can Build Her House

In The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands Dr Laura Schlessinger quotes Tammy, whose father had given her this advice:
"You are marrying a man.  Always treat him like one and he will always act like one."
Tammy followed that advice and writes:
"I have noticed that in every area of our marriage, work, home, family, children, career, David excels when I treat him like a man.
             I mean by this that I do not demand he do thing. I ask. I suggest options for his problems and then let him pick one. I never differ with him in front of the children. I do not deal with his family in an unpleasant situation---I let him deal with his family.
                 I never do anything to embarrass him or make him feel less manly in front of his family, coworkers, children, neighbors, or friends.
               Let me tell you what this gets me. It gets me a man who is so comfortable with his masculinity that he can focus on being tender and loving and giving to me constantly because he is never concerned about protecting his ego or proving he is the 'man of the house.' I do that for him."

Let me add that, of course, sinners marry sinners, and so men will act less than manly and women will disrespect, but there is sufficient grace for those who repent and ask God to forgive.  Jesus was the only perfect manly man and he perfectly honored his father.   In Christ, his obedience can be credited to our account.

The Force of Influence

"In denying woman authority, which goes from the strong to the weak and is submitted to out of necessity, the Creator has accorded her influence, which typically goes form the weak to the strong and is freely accepted, but only on the condition that it is not at all evident."

Woman  Her Mission and Her Life by Adolphe Monod

Adam's Predicament

Writing tenderly about Adam in the Garden of Eden before Eve was formed, Adolphe Monod, French preacher in the early 1800's, wrote:

"Gifted with  a nature that is too communicative to be self-sufficient, he cries out for a companion, a support, a complement, and he is only half alive as long as he lives alone.  Made to think, to speak, to love, his thought seeks another thought to sharpen it and it reveal it to itself; his word is sadly lost in the air or awakens only an echo that mutilates it instead of responding to it; his love does not know what to do with itself and, falling back on itself, threatens to turn into distressing egotism.  In the end, his entire being longs for another self."

...the lowest state to which a woman's mind can fall."

In A Bride Goes West Nannie Alderson, living in incredibly primitive conditions on the frontier, catches herself one day: "I saw that I was beginning to feel sorry for myself -- the lowest state to which a woman's mind can fall....I still think it is the most important lesson that any wife can learn, whether she lives in a house of cottonwood logs or in a palace."
Lord, forgive my pathetic self-pity.  I have not because I ask not.  And where I have asked and asked, and not received, give grace to bow content beneath your wise, fatherly disposing.

"...our other house was building."

In A Bride Goes West Nannie T. Alderson, a true frontier woman, talks about her first very rough home out west: "We didn't mind the hard things because we didn't expect them to last....Our little dirt-roofed shack didn't matter because our other house was building....We didn't expect to live on a ranch all our lives --oh, my no!"
Oh, Lord, help me not to mind the hard things.   You said, as you prepared to go, that you are building a mansion for your brothers and sisters.  I don't expect to be here long.

The Power of a False Story

I have been thinking lately of the power of story in our lives.  If good stories are powerful to inspire us, then bad stories must be powerful too.   I wrote about that here.

Happy Prayer of the Conquered

It is a very sweet thing to come into your presence, O Lord. Very sweet. Having you I have all. And what profit is it for a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?

You are the Creator, the king, the wise disposer of all things. And so, O Lord, where you have ordered and it cannot be changed, let me bow humbly and trust deeply. Let not my care, my restlessness, my discontent, be for those things. Let my care, restlessness, discontent rather be for those things that are my duties, my freedoms, my stewardship, my service, the places that are my responsibility and the places, therefore, of influence. Rather than be consumed with self-pity and discontent, let me steward my influence ( considerable, in God's providence, for a woman ) and learn to love better, deeper, more generously. If I honor, love, give, serve, conditioned on others' deserving, I shall invoke the wrath of God against myself, for if He follows my example, I am hell-bound.

Lord, you providential crossing of my will and your continuing to do so after repeated entreaties, leaves me conquered. The upper hand I wished for is not mine but yours. And when by your grace I am in my right mind, I am as happy there as a servant under the most just King, a student under the wisest teacher, a vile beggar welcomed, pardoned, clothed and seated at a banquet.

The book husbands wish their wives would check out of the library.

Someone once said that the most important thing in marriage is being able to see something from the other person's perspective. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is a tool to help wives see life from the husband's perspective.  In that, Dr. Laura Schlessinger has done us all a favor.  It's true, husbands have no excuse for not leading.  But neither do wives have any excuse for disheartening their husbands by withholding affection and praise and refusing to be satisfied. Though Dr. Laura sadly does not know Christ, she has oodles of insight into human nature.

Neglect of Prayer and Rotten Fruit

Puritan Anthony Burgess says that a critical spirit, a jealous spirit and a suspicious spirit all grow out of our neglect of praying for one another.  What sweet fruit we could enjoy if we were more obedient.  Here Burgess whets our appetite for such obedience.

Raising Boys to Be Men

Here is an email I wrote in response to someone asking that question:
I am sorry to be getting back to you so late.
Did your family take in the 4-12 conference?

The best I can do right now on this important topic of raising boys is to recommend some excellent resources.
FULL of practical wisdom on how to transition our children out of the home life into the world, the following article is one of the most valuable I know of by the father of Josh, Bret and Alex Harris.
 
“Outgrowing the Greenhouse: A conversation with Gregg Harris”
www.hslda.org/courtreport/V25N3/V25N301.asp

Then I would also recommend Future Men by Doug Wilson and Raising Real Men by Hal and Melanie Young, parents of SIX boys.

Along a slightly different track, I would recommend "A Wise Woman's Guide to Blessing Her Husband's Wisdom" -- a lecture by Doug Phillips.  I think this is a very important lecture (At least it has been for me) because it clued me in (duh) on the fact that to give room for my husband to lead means that he may make some decisions that I would not have made.  (Can you believe it?)  The lecture helped me to see that I have at times been a discouragement to my husband leading rather than an encouragement.

God bless you and counsel.   Cry for wisdom and a teachable spirit.
Here is a quote from Thomas Brooks to encourage you:

"Your life is short,
your duties many,
your assistance great
and your reward sure;
therefore faint not,
hold on and hold up,
in ways of well doing
and heaven shall make amends for all."

Thomas Brooksmeone asked me about raising boys to be men.  Here is what I wrote.

A Warning for Our JOY

Oh, I love this post.   Jasmine Baucham wisely warns against defining Biblical femininity more narrowly than Scripture.   The devil is happy either way: if we define femininity without any Biblical hedges or if we plant hedges within the hedges within the hedge of God's law.  The latter will make us grumpy, self-righteous, and unfruitful.   Not very attractive to the world.   Not very salty.

When your children make you want to cry....

I found this post about wedding dresses on my daughter's blog today.

Little things can grow....

Yesterday I had the incredible privilege of seeing Lake Itasca and the headwaters of the mighty Mississippi River.  We waded across!  It was narrower than my kitchen. I picked a penny off the bottom.

For our honeymoon nearly 25 years ago, we went to New Orleans, and there I saw the Mississippi River broadly, majestically sweeping into the Gulf of Mexico.  It is wide and strong there -- not to be messed with.
And so as I slipped out of my shoes yesterday, and rolled up my capris to go wading, I could not forget the admonishment to not despise the day of small things.

John Paton, William Carey, William Wilberforce, John Calvin and John Piper were all once bawling babies with running noses.   Their fathers and mothers were not famous but they were faithful, and God blessed.

Let us not grow weary in well-doing.

The Holy Spirit and allergies.

Be comforted. 
John Bunyan knew from personal experience that by nature we have an allergic reaction to the presence of God.  I love that honesty.  Rightly does Michael Haykin praise the Puritans for their "transparent honesty and in-depth knowledge of the human heart."  Listen to this quote from Bunyan, and don't miss the remedy that God provides for our allergies. 


"May I but speak my own experience, and from that tell you the difficulty of praying to God as I ought; it is enough to make you poor, blind, carnal men, to entertain strange thoughts of me. For, as for my heart, when I go to pray, I find it so loath to go to God, and when it is with him, so loath to stay with him, that many times I am forced in my prayers; first to beg of God that he would take mine heart, and set it on himself in Christ, and when it is there, that he would keep it there (Psalm 86:11). Nay, many times I know not what to pray for, I am so blind, nor how to pray, I am so ignorant; only (blessed be grace) the Spirit helps our infirmities [Rom. 8:26] (cited in p. 116). "   

"I Thank God for Bitter Things"

I thank God for bitter things;
They've been a 'friend to grace';
They've  driven me from paths of ease
To storm the secret place.

I thank Him for the friends who failed
To fill my heart's deep need;
They've driven me to the Savior's feet,
Upon His love to feed.

I'm grateful too, through all life's way
No one could satisfy,
And so I've found in God alone
My rich, my full supply!

by Florence White Willett

A FABULOUS tool for evangelism. You can do it!!

Watch this video and learn how to illustrate and give a solid gospel presentation.
It is exciting!
http://www.wtsbooks.com/content/2_ways_2_live_content_3.php

Dangerous Prayer

"Lord, cut;
Lord, carve;
Lord, wound;
Lord, do anything that
may perfect Thy Father's
image in us and make us
meet for glory."

-Samuel Rutherford

It can't be both ways.

The sage G. K. Chesterton exposes a strange contradiction in our culture.

"People of the progressive sort are perpetually telling us that the hope of the world is in education. Education is everything. Nothing is more important as training the rising generation.
        They tell us this over and over again, with slight variations of the same formula, and never seem to see what it involves. For if there be any word of truth in all this talk about the education of the child, then there is certainly nothing but nonsense in nine-tenths of the talk about the emancipation of the woman. 
If education is the highest function in the State, why should anybody want to be emancipated from the highest function in the State? It is as if we talked of commuting the sentence that condemned a man to be President of the United States; or a reprieve coming in time to save him from being Pope. If education is the largest thing in the world, what is the sense of talking about a woman being liberated from the largest thing in the world? It is as if we were to rescue her from the cruel doom of being a poet like Shakespeare; or to pity the limitations of an all-round artist like Leonardo da Vinci. 
      In short, if education is really the larger matter, then certainly domestic life is the larger matter; and official or commercial life the lesser matter. It is a mere matter of arithmetic that anything taken from the larger matter will leave it less. It is a mere matter of simple subtraction that the mother must have less time for the family if she has more time for the factory.

             Make up your mind whether you want unlimited education or unlimited emancipation, but do not be such a fool as to suppose you can have both at once."

Uprooting Anger

I am reading Uprooting Anger  by Robert D. Jones right now.  In the past I have sometimes wondered at Jesus saying in the sermon on the mount that anger is murder. But the more I become acquainted with my own sinful heart, the more I understand and believe it.   Jones says that it is hard to see anger in ourselves.  One of our sons has been taking stumps out of the ground this summer.   It is hard work because the roots are deep and tough.  So are the roots of sinful anger. It can either be revealed or concealed.   Either way it is deadly.   I have been concealing anger and the fruit of it was coldness and a severe temptation to punish.   The book is very good -- like having sessions with an excellent Biblical counselor -- homework and all!!!!      For an excellent review and a place to order it, see
http://www.monergismbooks.com/Uprooting-Anger-Biblical-Help-for-a-Common-Problem-p-17146.html

Rest in God's provision for our children.

"It ill becomes the professed servants of God to murmur, because children are withheld:  but it is far worse, to fret because they have a numerous offspring.  Children are in scripture considered as a heritage, and a reward from God to his people; and shall we deem them our encumbrance?  as if he could not provide for many as well as for few!"


The Comprehensive Commentary of the Bible.

Stop the Mantra

"Ladies, we need to stop the mantra that we are just as good as men.  We need to stop cataloging all the areas in which we perceive discrimination.  Instead we need to embrace the reality that when it came time to assigning important roles for the continuance, nurturing, and guidance of the human race, God chose not to send a man to do a job that only a woman could do!"

Andrea Schwartz

Read the whole article here:

http://chalcedon.edu/research/articles/engendered-differences/

"Sabbath is an act of liberation."

Carolyn McCulley cuts deep with a post on the Sabbath.   I rejoice, as this subject is close to my heart.   Arguing that the Sabbath never haven been abolished, it gives good thought into our temptation to find our identity in our work, and how the Sabbath frees us from that.  Go take the challenge.

http://solofemininity.blogs.com/posts/2011/05/lord-of-the-sabbath.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fsolofemininity+%28R

They shouldn't all go to college.

My parents left the Netherlands for Canada in 1953.   Because of that, I have a bit of familiarity with their educational system.  I subscribe to a DutchNews newsletter and saw this news bite today.   Notice that in secondary school there is a serious option for students to prepare for a trade.  In fact, if you do the numbers, there are more students preparing for trades than for college and university combined.  This fits with the call of scripture to train up a child in the way he should go -- according to his gifts.


Secondary school final exams begin
Some 205,000 secondary school pupils start taking their final exams on Monday. In total, 105,350 trade school pupils (vmbo), 58,700 pre-college pupils (havo) and 41,200 pre-university students (vwo) face two weeks of tests. More
 

Glory and Agony

 "Prayer...is in one aspect glory and blessedness; in another, it is toil and travail, battle and agony."

The Hidden Life of Prayer  by D.M. M'Intyre

Triumph in Tribulation

"...let a man once obtain the pardon of sin, the favour of God, and a believing view and prospect of the glory to come, and it is so easy to triumph in tribulation, in such a station as that is, that it will be found as hard to hinder it, as to hinder a man from laughting when he is tickled."
John Flavel  A Treatise on Fear   

The Sovereignty of God and the death of a Scottish lad.

Temple Gairdner, the son of a wealthy Scotsman, was at away at a private school and 10 when his younger brother died.  Previously he had dreamed of a life of success, wealth and popularity. But the death of his brother changed his life.  He resolved to follow God where ever he would lead.
Under an Arabic teacher he mastered Arabic in six months.  His teacher said that "He became more Egyptian than the Egyptians."
For 23 years, until his death, Gairdner helped to create Christian literature in Arabic.  He launched a weekly magazine that explained the Christian faith, and he wrote musicals for Biblical narratives, poetry, Arabic hymns, simple rhymes for the street children and gospel stories in verse.  He provided hospitality to many and ended up planting a vibrant cross-cultural church.  He longed to touch the heart of the Muslims and he poured out his life for that.
I cannot help but feel for Gairdner's mother when she lost her young son.   How she must have wept!  Little did she know that our sovereign God would use that death to propel another son to bring Christ to one of the needest parts of the world.
O mothers,  I hope this story encourages us to trust God with his mysterious providences in our lives.

Obstacles to Prayer

If you are discouraged from praying by a consciousness of your sin, consider this example from Developing a Healthy Prayer Life by James and Joel Beeke:

"A person encouraged a beggar to beg at a king's palace.  He observed that other beggars who asked there had received, that those who sought had found, and that those who knocked had the door opened to them.  But the beggar hesitated; he doubted.  He thought, 'I can't do that.  Look at my coat, it's not nearly good enough for the king.  My face is dirty, my shoes are old, my hands are filthy.  I cannot beg at the king's door.  He doesn't know me well enough and I haven't served him sincerely enough.' If the beggar holds to this way of thinking, in the end, he will be outside the king's blessing forever.  Why?  Because he is focused more on his own unworthiness than on the king's graciousness; he trusts more in his own preparedness instead of the king's mercy."

Exegetical Gymnastics

When asked about the problems with an old-earth position, Al Mohler said:

"The first problem is exegetical -- that is, it has to do with the interpretation of Scripture.  I'm absolutely certain that there is no problem when one holds to a young-earth position. But if you hold an old-earth position, you have to employ interpretive methodologies in Genesis1-3 that most evangelicals would recognize as being invalid in any other context. There are huge exegetical problems,and they impact our understanding of the rest of Scripture."

Could you give a demonstration, please?

The theme of the Bethlehem Woman Conference this year is gratitude.  I love it.  Nancy Leigh De Moss says that ingratitude is a breeding ground for a sense of entitlement to sin.  How carefully we should keep our hearts!
Further, how ashamed a Christian woman should be when God has promised to, with the SON, give us freely all things.
For a real life example of a grateful, happy woman see this clip below:

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/real-life-emmad-menem-marriages/

You will cry...

The makers of "Fireproof"are coming out with their new movie this September called "Courageous."
Just watching the trailer makes me cry.  It is a call for men to be courageous.   I love that call.   May God be gracious.
Watch the trailer here
http://www.courageousthemovie.com/

Suppressing the Truth

"Idolatry is not the by-product of forgetting God, it is the means by which we forget him..."

Allender

Haman strutted -- and then hung.

When  I am tempted to think highly of myself and it is like the heady stupor of a drunken man or a gambler or an adulterer, I remind myself of Haman.   He strutted but his strutting took him to the gallows.   Better to be Mordecai.   I remind myself of Pharoah.  The pleasures of sin for a season.   Better to be Moses who exchanged that pleasure to suffer with God's people in the wilderness.  In the wilderness God was present along with his promise of everlasting rest.  Lord, when pride rises in my breast let it be swallowed up by those images of Haman strutting -- then hung -- and Pharoah, wealthy beyond imagination -- then stripped of trees, cows, gold and firstborn son.

A speech on Child Training

On the Road to Building Character in Children


JOSEPH AND HANNAH  
 We were planning a picnic with some friends .   Joseph was doing dishes before we could leave. He was about four or five and Hannah is 18 months younger.   Hannah said “Joseph won't get his dishes done on time.”  Joseph, frustrated, turned and said, “Hannah if you had a job as an encourager, you would probably get fired.”  This true story prompts me to ask myself how much of an encourager I am to my children?  And how can I do better?

GRAMMAR BEFORE DISHES
The question of developing character in children is important.  When we began homeschooling I was very focused on academics.  I can remember frantically working through Winston grammar when David was about five-- circling and underlining the different parts of speech in the sentences while the the breakfast dishes sat on the table until lunch, the younger children ran around, hair uncombed,  and not obeying when I gave instructions.
 It was many years later that I heard about a survey of home-school moms who had finished the job.  When asked what they had learned that they wished they had known earlier, they said "Character First!!!"  Now I understand why they said it.  It is true.  If your children have not learned to obey, are unkind, uncooperative and deceitful -- it will be very hard to teach them anything.

THREE GOALS
Today I want to accomplish three things:   First, I want to point you to the gospel – the essential element in good parenting, and the only basis for hope.  Then I want to share some principles that are not original with me but which I have learned from godly authors.     Thirdly, I want to suggest how you can use the proverbs in child training.

 
HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION -- THE GOSPEL
 First I want to say that parenting is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  And I have not arrived.  I am merely on the way.  Martin Luther said "We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it, the process is not yet finished, but it is going on, this is not the end, but it is the road."

TELLING IS NOT ENOUGH
First, how shall we find hope in this daunting task? If we have parenting for any length of time you may have discovered that explaining what we expect of our children and having them do it are two different things.  We can explain good manners to Susy but then find her spreading her jam on her toast with her fingers.      We can tell Johnny not to take toys from other children but when Freddy has a new yellow tonka truck, we may come into the room to find a tug-a-war.  In our day many believe that man is basically good.  They tell us that young children simply need encouragement and kindness and then they will do what is right. But this theory does not fit reality.   It is just not enough to tell Johnny "Be good."  We can plead and weep and cajole, but Johnny can't be good. It feels like you are knocking your head against a brick wall, doesn't it? And in a sense, we are.

The  BRICK WALL
The brick wall is our sinful human nature. It is critical to have a Biblical view of man.   And the Bible is very clear that though man was made without sin, he chose to disobey God and things have never been the same.   The Bible says that "All  have sinned and fallen short of the kingdom of God."  That means that our children are born sinners.
 Recently our youth pastor, Pastor Turner, had a new little daughter, whom he dearly loves.  A brother in the church introduced Pastor Turner to a group of people and said that he had a new little angel in the house.    Pastor Turner corrected him by saying, 'No, a new little sinner in the house."   This may sound harsh, but if we get the diagnosis right, we will treat the problem appropriately.   If it is only a scratch, a band-aid will do.  If it is cancer, the knife will have to come out.  If we are good and only need encouragement, OK.  But if we are basically evil, we need a treatment far more drastic than a band-aid.  We won't even be surprised when our children disobey.

JOHNNY IS BAD
So I am saying that little Johnny is bad.  How can I say this?  What is our standard for determining this?   It is the 10 commandments.  Romans says that the law is the schoolmaster to Christ.   What does that mean? It means that it leads to Christ.   Let us see how that works.  Let us look at part of the implications of the fifth commandment:

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT
 "Honor your father and mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God gives you." If that only means cleaning your room and doing homework when told, one might be able to think that he is a good boy or girl"  But when you do a deeper study of the fifth commandment, you see the implications: An excellent way to do this is to study the Westminster Confession of Faith and specifically the part on the Larger Catechism.  This includes a study of the 10 Commandments, and it is done very carefully with scripture proofs for all of the points.  First of all the commandment is to all those under authority and to those who are in authority.  We will just look at the part for those under authority, although the part for those in authority is also very important for helping parents to see their own sins.  The call for those under authority is that they be reverent in heart, word and behavior, --no rolling eyes, even when noone is looking --praying for and thanking God for those over them, (There are two kinds of sins.   The church used to refer to them as sins of commission and sins of ommission.  Sins of commission are doing something they should not do, like sassing their mother or mocking their father.  The second, sins of ommision, are neglecting to do something they should have done such as praying for those in authority and giving thanks for them.)  Then the confession says they are to  be imitating their virtues and graces (In other words, if their parents are hardworking, kind and forgiving, they should imitate those qualities) willingly obeying their lawful commands and counsel, (You notice that the call is not just to obey but to do so willingly -- without grumbling or complaining), submitting to their corrections, defending and maintaining their authority,  (for example, if someone else speaks ill of their father, the son sins if he laughs along instead of defending him), bearing with their weaknesses and covering them in love. (They do not talk about their faults to others but cover those sins -- unless someone has a good reason to know).  If that is what is involved for those under authority keeping the fifth commandment, none of us keeps it.  For you see, I still have a mother to honor, and my husband is also one that I need to honor though not in the same way as children need to honor their father and mother.   Then also, I need to honor those in authority over me in the church and in the state.   We all do poorly.  Very poorly. We are sinners.

WHO GOD IS
Now we need to look at who God is.   He is sinless and holy.   The Bible says he is too holy to look upon sin.  It also says that he is angry with the wicked everyday.   And so, sinners are under his wrath.
It is interesting.  If we talk about the wrath of God, some object that it is too frightening to talk to children about this.   But our culture is always scaring children with vampires, bogeymen, witches, aliens and haunted houses. And this is all make-believe.   The wrath of God is not make believe.   We sin not to tell our children the truth about the wrath of God.

CHRIST IS GLORIOUS
This leads us directly to Jesus.   If we are not sinners, we don't need his sacrifice.   If God is not angry with sinners, we don't need the sacrifice of Christ to appease his anger.   But if we are sinners and unable to help ourselves, we do need someone to do two things for us: obey the whole law perfectly for us and to take the punishment we deserve for breaking the commandments.  And so this is a wonderful introduction to the gospel.    As we point out the sin of our children (and confess our own sins to them) we don't rant at them for not living up to perfection, but we thank God for sending Jesus to wash us clean and to give us his power to begin to live a holy -- though not perfect – life. Christ is glorious. Christ is our only hope for forgiveness of sin and a clear conscience, our only hope for renewed friendship and fellowship with God, our only hope for everlasting rest and joy.  Christ is that treasure that a man found and then sold all else in order to have.   If we are in Christ, he is our song and our salvation.  He never disappoints and will never make us ashamed.

SIX PRINCIPLES
Now I want to talk about six principles that I love.   They are not original with me.  Most of my mentors for parenting have been dead for many years, but low and behold, they have taken pen to paper, and thus are still teaching today.

BE TENDER
J.C. Ryle,  one of the wisest men who writes on training children, and one of those whose material I am using for this speech, said the following about being tender with your child:
"I do not mean that you should spoil him, but I do mean that you should let him see that you love him.  Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys -- these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily; these are the clues you must follow if you would find the way to his heart."  Without their heart you do not have their ear.  Ryle goes on to say that "Children are weak and tender creatures...We must handle them delicately, like sensitive plants, lest by rough fingering we do them more harm than good."

This is so important that I am beginning with it.  I am a list person.  I am very satisfied when my list gets done by the end of the day.   And so I can be very impatient and irritable when my children are not doing their lists.  When children are young you have their hearts -- God made it that way to enable you to influence them.  But do not presume upon always keeping their hearts.  If we alienate our children by sinning against them, we may well lose their hearts and it will take painful tears, sincere repentance and a new tenderness to win those hearts back.
 
SPECIFIC INSTRUCTION TO LITTLE ONES -- COUNSEL TO OLDER ONES
I learned from Doug Wilson to give very specific instructions in the early years of a child, and counsel in the older years.
In the early years children are extremely eager to please and they are moldable.   They are also foolish.   Prov. 22:15 says "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child."  Therefore, says Ryle, "...we must not leave him to the guidance of his own will.  We must think for him, judge for him, just as we would for one weak and blind; but we should not give him up to his own wayward tastes and inclinations.  It must not be his likings and wishes that are consulted.  He knows not yet what is good for his mind and soul, any more than what is good for his body.  Do not let him decide what he shall eat, and what he shall drink and how he shall be clothed.  What shameful scenes at the table might be avoided if parent would seek divine widsom as to what is best to put on the child's plate."
When our children were young, we had tupperware bowls with lids.   We served moderate portions and required the children to try whatever was served.  And we served a wide variety of foods.  If the child left food in the plate, the food was put into the fridge with the lid on.   This food would later be heated in the microwave.  They say that "Hunger is the best sauce" and it proved to be true in our case.  Our children have learned to eat a wide variety of food.  There is almost nothing that they dislike.
We unwisely give young children a zillion choices when young and not wise.
See mom standing at the closet Sunday morning.  "Susy, do you want to wear this pink dress or this green one?"
Susy says "No!"
Mom is frustrated already.  "Or you can wear this purple jumper with the white blouse."
Susy turns around and picks up the comfortable dirty clothes that she wore yesterday.   "This one" she says.
And so the battle is on  and the child does not learn obedience.
Later, at 16, when we see them making bad choices we want to micro manage them  --no, you cannot see that friend, you must be home before ten, do not watch that or wear that.  But at this point the concrete is setting fast and we have lost opportunity to train them.
To be clear, though you are to give specific instructions to young children, they still have a choice of whether to obey or disobey.  Let them clearly see that they do have a choice – and that obedience will end in good results and disobedience will end in bad results.    This is the way God deals with men: Deut. 28 and 29 is a whole litany of blessings that would come to Israel if they obeyed and curses that would come if they disobeyed.  In this way you train the child's will to obedience.  You want their will to be bent toward doing right.  In later year, we need to be more of a counsellor to our children.  Gregg Harris tells of counselling men in his congregation.   He will not tell the man what to do about his problem, but instead will tell him what he would do and tell him that he trusts him to make a good decision.  That is, I believe, what we should be doing more and more as children grow up.  That will be much harder if they have not learned obedience (wisdom) as a young child.

BIBLE AS MAP
 We would do well to have the Bible as the final standard of truth, as the map for life.    How can we speak with authority if we are only expressing our preferences or opinions?  It will be good for our children to see that we are under authority also. There is something very winsome about saying to a child.  "You need to obey God.  Daddy and mommy needs to obey God too. We are in this together."  In this way we can model a sweet submission to God's Word.
The Bible is the word of God, a light upon our path. You should read it to our children every day.   I am grateful that my husband does that in our home.  Mr. Paul Tripp said he would especially read the Old Testament to his teens with all of its warnings to young men about the adulterous woman (see proverbs 7 especially) and generally about dangers of picking bad friends and its record of Israel falling into sin and that sin always bringing them under God's judgement.  How will we or our children be able to identify falsehood if we do not know truth?  It is said that people who work at banks study real money in order to gain a sense for money that is counterfeit.   We ourselves need to go to God's word for wisdom and direction and we should point our children to it.
 
 SOMETHING TO LOVE
.Another bit of advice that Greg Harris gives which I love is that we should give our children something to love.  We should not only be building fences – forbidding bad behavior – but building sidewalks.  He says we should “keep them engaged in something that they enjoy doing."  I have an article that is an interview with him in the "Recommended Reading" list along with some other recommended resources on parenting.   An example of what he is talking about is if you have a child who has a natural gift for drawing, buy them some supplies and try to get them some lessons.  Or just buy them some tools to experiment with.   One of my sisters and her husband have a son who early on showed a love for woodworking.   His father wisely invested in some tools when he was 13 -- a band saw and a drill press.  Today he is 22 and this year he entered a contest for furniture making and he was one of five finalists.  I love his chair.  He didn't win but seriously I thought his was the best entry.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER
C. S. Lewis said that we should not only read modern books but balance them out with books from from  previous centuries.   Richard Greenham lived in the 14th century, and wisely said:   "Experience teaches us that children like or mislike more by countenance, gesture, and behavior than by rule, doctrine, precept or instruction."                                                                                                                          In other words, our actions speak louder than our words. I really believe this.  What if you tell your children that they should obey but then when your husband asks you to do something, instead of respectfully appealing or asking for clarification, you proceed to criticize the plan and give reasons why if is a bad idea.   You want your children to obey but your have modeled a quarrelsome spirit.  The children are watching.   You tell them that they should love their father but you do not even get up to greet him when he comes in the door. And you are stone-faced and withdrawn when he does not please you.   They are learning how to treat those over them.  You quote the verse “Whatever your hand finds to do do with all of your might as unto the Lord."  but you do not oversee the table being set properly and your husband sits down to find he has no napkin, cutlery or hot sauce.  You tell them they should say sorry when they are wrong, but you regularly shift blame and find excuses for your sins.  
Voddie Baucham tells the story of a distressed husband and wife who came to him for counsel.   They explained that their son had gone off to college and was no longer attending church.   They had taught him that attending church was important and could not understand his behavior.  As they talked further, Mr. Baucham found out that sometimes when the boy was younger there was a conflict between sports events and church, and in these cases the sports event had won out.  You see, explained Mr. Baucham, regardless of what you said, you demonstrated that there are more important things than going to church.  Your son has learned exactly what you have taught him.

NO SUBSTITUTE FOR GODLINESS
Since children see better than they hear, we must be most careful how we live.  We must not be like a horse pulling a carriage always looking back to see if the carriage is following properly.   The horse will begin to leave the path and so will the carriage.   If the horse instead points his nose forward and stays on the trail, the carriage will follow just fine.   This analogy has its limitations, but the main point is that if we will walk straight, it will be the best way to instruct our children.  What we love they will love.   What we are indifferent about, they will be indifferent about.  Recently I was sitting waiting at the dentist's office when a mother came in with her five year old son.   He was looking at a book and pointing to something, said to his mother " See Mom.   Daddy likes baseball."  I thought: "This boy knows what his father likes though his father may never have said so in that many words."
If we want godly children then, we must be godly.  J.C. Ryle says it this way: "There is no substitiute for godliness --- reality with God in the lives of the parents....     Your children will never believe you are in earnest, and really wish  to obey you, so long as your actions contradict your counsel....  Fathers and Mothers do not forget that children learn more by the eye than they do by the ear....Strive rather to be a living epistle of Christ, such as your children can read, and that plainly....As you enjoy Christ for yourself they will believe it is something real." .

THE USE OF PROVERBS
Chip and Dan Heath in their book Make to Stick say that one way to be an effective communicator is to use proverbs.  And some of the men who have had great influence have done so.   L.E. Maxwell, who headed up the Prairie Bible Institute in Alberta, Canada, did this.  One of my favorites is "The hardest thing in the world is to keep your balance."  He didn't mean physical balance, but mental.  We can be too clean or too messy, too scheduled or too spontaneous, too social or too isolated.  You get my meaning.  Well, isn't it amazing that in the Bible God has given us a whole book of proverbs? And they are short, powerful and to the point.   I would recommend using them in the training of your children.
Here are some of our favorites:
For the boaster: "Let another man praise you and not your own lips." Prov 27:2
For a lazy child: "A worker's appetite works for him; his mouth urges him on."  Prov.25:28
For a quarrelsome child: "The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out."  Prov.17:14
For one suspected of lying: "He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."
For one making excuses for not obeying, or one fearful: "The sluggard says, 'There is a lion in the road!  There is a lion in the streets."
For one lacking self-control: "A man without self-control is a city broken into and left without walls."
A. W. Pink talks about having a Christian father but going off into a dark pagan religion -- I think it was theosophy.  One evening he came home preparing to speak the next day in one of his religious meetings.  His father, deeply burdened for his son, greeted him.   The son did not stop to talk but started upstairs to his room.   However, his father sent up this proverbs after him that forever changed his life: "There is a way that seems right to a man but the end thereof is death."  Prov.14:12  Arthur Pink sat down to work on his speech but he could not get the proverb that his father had spoken out of his mind.   He did not give the speech.   He did not leave the room for three days and when he did so he was a new man.  In his words: "God's Word planted doubt and hisitation where was great passion and confidence in the wrong direction." This is the power of God's Word.  It will not return void.  Let's use this sword of the Lord.

There we are then.   I would never want to parent without the gospel.  It is my foundation and hope.   Then I am most grateful for the Biblical principles imparted by godly men both alive and dead.  And I love the proverbs.  Come along as we set about to build character in our children.  With Luther we say, "This is not the end, but it is the road."



RECOMMENDED READING LIST
Raising children is time-consuming but I would urge you to evaluate your commitments and carve out some time for reading. Good books can be a source of incredible instruction, encouragement, correction and hope for you. They can be true mentors.

All written by people who actually have children, the following books cover the nitty-gritty establishing of good habits and attitudes in our children.
 ESP (Explain, Show & Practice) Character Training by Kim S. Doebler.
Practical Parenting Tips by Ray Bradley
Hints on Child Training by Clay Trumbull

This article is FULL of practical wisdom on how to transition our children out of the home life into the world
“Outgrowing the Greenhouse: A conversation with Gregg Harris”
www.hslda.org/courtreport/V25N3/V25N301.asp

The following link takes you to a booklet by J.C. Ryle that I mentioned above, one of the best for the practical spiritual training of our children.  Besides what I have mentioned, he talks about training children in the knowledge of the Bible, to a habit of prayer, to assemble with the people of God, to obey you without always knowing why, in a habit of prompt obedience, to always speak the truth, to a habit of always redeeming the time, and with a constant fear of overindulgence.   J.C. Ryle is one of those who though dead still speaks and with great wisdom
www.characterbuildingforfamilies.com/ryle.html

The next two books help us use the Bible to guide our children.  The first one is the Proverbs, but in categories such as  "Reverence for God," "Wisdom and Instruction," and "Self-Control."  The second book is broader, gleaning from all of scripture, and shows how to use scripture to address specific sins in our children such as  jealousy, laziness, discouragement and ingratitude.
Proverbs for Parenting by Barbara Decker
For Instruction in Righteousness by Pam Forster

These two books teach us how to get past the outward behavior of our children to discover and address what is in their hearts.  Heart sins are sin too and must be repented of.  God must give clean hearts and clean hearts will bear fruit in obedience.
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp
Age of Opportunity  (teen years)   Paul David Tripp

If you want to love God more passionately, read:
Desiring God  by John Piper

Here is where you can find the exposition of the ten commandments.  See question 99 and following.
http://www.apuritansmind.com/wcf/WestminsterLargerCatechism.htm

This CD teachs us how to encourage our husbands to lead.  We may want them to lead while unconsciously discouraging them in a number of significant ways.
"Wise Woman's Guide to Blessing Her Husband's Vision" by Doug Phillips (CD from Vision Forum).

 God made men and women equal in value and dignity but he made beautiful and rich distinctions in their roles.The fall of man messed it up pretty bad (along with everything else) but the fall did not erase the distinctions.   If God made them, it is well for us not to ignore them.
What's the Difference? by John Piper and Wayne Grudem.

One of my favorite writers is Doug Wilson and his wife Nancy Wilson.  He had oodles of wisdom about raising children -- and on how raising boys is different than raising girls.  He is published by Canon Press. The two books by Nancy Wilson are specifically for women and very encouraging. The last book is also from Canon Press.  I haven't read it personally but have read excellent reviews of it.  And I love the title.
http://www.canonpress.org/store/pc/home.asp   carries these.
Future Men by Doug Wilson
Standing on the Promises by Douglas Wilson
Her Hand in Marriage by Doug Wilson
The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson
Praise Her in the Gates by Nancy Wilson
Loving the Little Years:  Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic

Kevin Swanson knows that our culture is God-hating, devoid of truth and meaningful relationships.   He has practical, biblical wisdom for how we can recover the rich biblical culture that we once had in this country.  It is an uphill climb but the alternative is very dark. Go to
 http://www.generationswithvision.com/   to order these resources.
The Second Mayflower   by Kevin Swanson
 Proverbs Study Guide by Kevin Swanson

Puritan Titles:
First, a word on why I believe that the Puritans should be read today.  Joel Beeke and Randall Pederson summarize it very well in their excellent book Meet the Puritans:  they say that the Puritans "shape life by scripture....marry doctrine and practice....[addressing the mind, heart and conscience] focus on Christ....show how to handle trials....show us how to live in two worlds....and....show us true spirituality."  Beeke and Pederson recommend the first five books below if you are just starting into the Puritans.  I added the last one.  As I mentioned I read sometimes just a few paragraphs at a time (they are so rich -- like Godiva chocolate), and I like to copy great quotes into my journal -- with or without commend. An excellent source for the Puritans is Reformation Heritage Books.  http://www.heritagebooks.org/

Precious Remedies against Satan's Devices  by Thomas Brooks. This book teaches how to recognize the devices of the devil and fight them.
Keeping the Heart  by John Flavel.  Flavel calls keeping the heart THE great work of the Christian.  If our heart strays, we stray.  We follow our hearts.  So for our joy, safety and growth in grace we must learn to keep our hearts.
The Fear of God by John Bunyan.  This is the author of the classic Pilgrim's Progress.
Heaven Taken by Storm by Thomas Watson.  This book is excellent, passionate instruction on how to grow in grace through such things as self-examination, prayer, scripture reading, conversation  and use of the Lord's Day.
Glorious Freedom by Richard Sibbes.  Here Sibbes shows the great liberty of the Christian and its relation to the law.   Spurgeon said of Sibbes: "he scatters pearls and diamonds with both hands."
The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs.  How can we find contentment amidst the troubles and disappointments of life?  Burroughs gives deep, satisfying, biblical counsel.

A Martyr in Pakistan Today

My husband posted this on his blog.  I wanted to post it too.

http://praisepsalms.blogspot.com/2011/03/martyr-in-pakistan-today.html

Drunk on Pride

"It is a spiritual drunkenness;
it flies up like wine into the brain and intoxicates it.  
It is idolatry; a proud man is a self-worshiper."


Thomas Watson

Questions for Self-examination (a needed exercise in our day.)

Useful Questions for Self-examination adapted from Joseph Alleine

Ps. 4:4 Commune with your hearts upon your beds.

Duties

Was I sleeping when I should have been praying?  Ps.5:3

Have my prayers been full of wandering thoughts? Jer 12:2

Have I neglected or read God's Word to not profit?Deut. 17:19

Have I digested the last sermon I heard? Have I repeated it  and prayed over it? Ps.1:2

Have I denied myself in any way this day for God? Luke 9:23

Have I overslept in a world full of needs? Col.4:5

Have I been selective about whose company I keep, including characters in the movies I watch and books I read? Prov.13:20

Have I neglected some duty or sinned against my parents or siblings? Eph.6:1-3

Sin

Do I lightly brush off my sins? Ps.38:4

Do I mourn for the sins of the land? Ez.9:4

Do I refrain from doing what I know or fear to be sin?  Ps.119:101,104

Heart

Have I prayed thoughout the day? Neh.2:4,5

Has God been far from my thoughts? Ps.16:8

Have I disciplined my thoughts? Ps.119:113

Have I nurtured pride or wrong passions?  James 4:5-7

Tongue

Have I bridled my tongue? James 1:26

Have I spoke evil of no man? Titus 3:2

Has the law of the Lord been in my mouth as I sat in my house, went by the way, was lying down and rising up? Deut.6:6,7

When I have talked to people, have I said something of God and left some good savor behind? Ep.4:29

Table

Did I sit down with a higher purpose than a pig at the trough (i.e.to fill my stomach); did I eat and drink for the glory of God? 

1 Cor.10:31

Did I eat more than I needed to? 2 Peter 1:6

Did I participate in the dinner conversation with no mention of God?  Luke 7:36ff; 19:1ff

Was I merely going through the motions when I asked God's blessing and gave thanks for the food? Col.3:17

Calling

Did I work hard?1 Cor.7:17

Did I cheat anyone? 1Thes.4:6

Did I lie? Ep.4:25

Did I make promises and not keep them? Ps.15:4

Recommended Reading List

RECOMMENDED READING LIST

Raising children is time-consuming but I would urge you to evaluate your commitments and carve out some time for reading. Good books can be a source of incredible instruction, encouragement, correction and hope for you. They can be true mentors.

All written by people who actually have children, the following books cover the nitty-gritty establishing of good habits and attitudes in our children.

 ESP (Explain, Show & Practice) Character Training by Kim S. Doebler.

Practical Parenting Tips by Ray Bradley

Hints on Child Training by Clay Trumbull

 

This article is FULL of practical wisdom on how to transition our children out of the home life into the world

“Outgrowing the Greenhouse: A conversation with Gregg Harris”

www.hslda.org/courtreport/V25N3/V25N301.asp

The following link takes you to a booklet by J.C. Ryle that is one of the best for the practical spiritual training of our children.  

www.characterbuildingforfamilies.com/ryle.html

The next two books help us use the Bible to guide our children.  The first one is the Proverbs, but in categories such as  "Reverence for God," "Wisdom and Instruction," and "Self-Control."  The second book is broader, gleaning from all of scripture, and shows how to use scripture to address specific sins in our children such as  jealousy, laziness, discouragement and ingratitude.

Proverbs for Parenting by Barbara Decker

For Instruction in Righteousness by Pam Forster

These two books teach us how to get past the outward behavior of our children to discover and address what is in their hearts.  Heart sins are sin too and must be repented of.  God must give clean hearts and clean hearts will bear fruit in obedience.

Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp

Age of Opportunity  (teen years)   Paul David Tripp     

This CD teachs us how to encourage our husbands to lead.  We may want them to lead while unconsciously discouraging them in a number of significant ways.

"Wise Woman's Guide to Blessing Her Husband's Vision" by Doug Phillips (CD from Vision Forum).

 God made men and women equal in value and dignity but he made beautiful and rich distinctions in their roles.The fall of man messed it up pretty bad (along with everything else) but the fall did not erase the distinctions.   If God made them, it is well for us not to ignore them.

What's the Difference? by John Piper and Wayne Grudem.  

One of my favorite writers is Doug Wilson and his wife Nancy Wilson.  He had oodles of wisdom about raising children -- and on how raising boys is different than raising girls.  He is published by Canon Press. The two books by Nancy Wilson are specifically for women and very encouraging. The last book is also from Canon Press.  I haven't read it personally but have read excellent reviews of it.  And I love the title.

http://www.canonpress.org/store/pc/home.asp   carries these.

Future Men by Doug Wilson

Standing on the Promises by Douglas Wilson

Her Hand in Marriage by Doug Wilson

The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson

Praise Her in the Gates by Nancy Wilson

Loving the Little Years:  Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic

Kevin Swanson knows that our culture is God-hating, devoid of truth and meaningful relationships.   He has practical, biblical wisdom for how we can recover the rich biblical culture that we once had in this country.  It is an uphill climb but the alternative is very dark. Go to 

 http://www.generationswithvision.com/   to order these resources.

The Second Mayflower   by Kevin Swanson 

 Proverbs Study Guide by Kevin Swanson

Puritan Titles:

First, a word on why I believe that the Puritans should be read today.  Joel Beeke and Randall Pederson summarize it very well in their excellent book Meet the Puritans:  they say that the Puritans "shape life by scripture....marry doctrine and practice....[addressing the mind, heart and conscience] focus on Christ....show how to handle trials....show us how to live in two worlds....and....show us true spirituality."  Beeke and Pederson recommend the first five books below if you are just starting into the Puritans.  I added the last one.  As I mentioned I read sometimes just a few paragraphs at a time (they are so rich -- like Godiva chocolate), and I like to copy great quotes into my journal -- with or without commend. An excellent source for the Puritans is Reformation Heritage Books.  http://www.heritagebooks.org/

Precious Remedies against Satan's Devices  by Thomas Brooks. This book teaches how to recognize the devices of the devil and fight them.

Keeping the Heart  by John Flavel.  Flavel calls keeping the heart THE great work of the Christian.  If our heart strays, we stray.  We follow our hearts.  So for our joy, safety and growth in grace we must learn to keep our hearts.

The Fear of God by John Bunyan.  This is the author of the classic Pilgrim's Progress.

Heaven Taken by Storm by Thomas Watson.  This book is excellent, passionate instruction on how to grow in grace through such things as self-examination, prayer, scripture reading, conversation  and use of the Lord's Day.

Glorious Freedom by Richard Sibbes.  Here Sibbes shows the great liberty of the Christian and its relation to the law.   Spurgeon said of Sibbes: "he scatters pearls and diamonds with both hands."

The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs.  How can we find contentment amidst the troubles and disappointments of life?  Burroughs gives deep, satisfying, biblical counsel.

--
Therefore I will boast all the

Browsing Doug Wilson's blog again?

Yes, without apology.   These are too good not to pass on.

"The debate between the forces of egalitarianism and those who embrace the biblical order is not a debate between those who want to paint something blue and those who want to paint it red. Rather it is a debate between those who want to let water run downhill and those who want to sweep it up the hill" (Beyond Stateliest Marble, p. 236).

"Our feminist culture today hates women, despises them . . . The sexual revolution was a revolution of promiscuous males, for promiscuous males, and by promiscuous males" (Beyond Stateliest Marble, p. 237).