Going to Alberta Today

Yes, I am going to Alberta. God may be pleased to allow me to see my father while he is still alive, but I don't have a right to it and I will not set my heart on it. Mostly I am glad, glad, glad that my father tasted the grace of God about 20 years ago. It gave him a dependence and tenderness that was sweet to see. For a little more detail and a picture, see our daughter Ruthiey's blog:

http://colormylifewithlove.blogspot.com/2010/02/opa.html

Paul Tripp comes to Minnesota

For the past five years Bethlehem has had marriage retreats. We have gone several times and been blessed every time. This year we were exceptionally blessed. Paul helped us see and even laugh at the petty quarrels we all engage in with those who are closest to us. "Sin causes us to shrink our lives to the size of our lives." Instead of living for the glorious Kingdom of God, we end of living for our own little kingdom that we have built on our definition of what we need. We live self-absorbed, self-oriented lives focussed on my wants, my feelings and my needs.

He told of a birthday party that was held in the kindergarten class he taught. The birthday girl had a huge stack of gifts and one little boy proceeded to snort in jealousy until one of the mothers knelt by him and slowly said "Hear me. This is not your party." The point? Folks, this is not our party. It is God's glory we need to love.

Paul asked whose kingdom is shaping our marriage. If it is self, we will manipulate others to deliver what makes us happy. If it is God's, we will minister, and seek to love our neighbor as ourselves. I love his definition: "Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving." This convicted me that I have loved very little in my life -- and marriage particularly.

The lectures up to this point were painful -- like surgery. Like a stiff pruning from the master gardener.

Next Paul helped us to see what marriage looks like when God's Kingdom is shaping our marriage. We must believe that God is creator, that he is sovereign and that he is Savior. If we believe God is creator, we will view our spouse as a unique creature made in the image of God and be less irritated by the differences. They may be hardwired to be social, analytical, mechanical, bookish, handy, etc, and we will stop berating them for not being more like we are. Second, if we believe that God is sovereign, we will accept the story ( the particular influences) that have shaped them. However messy their story, God intends to take us beyond our comfort zone and to grow us through it. And of course sin makes everything very messy, but Paul says this is a grace -- grace because the messiness of relationships takes us out of fixing our heart on another and pushes us to cry out to God. What do we do the the sin of our spouse? Do we keep a record of it? Do we throw it into their face? If we do, we are cursing God.

The seminar made me aware of how afraid I am of giving up the interests of my own little kingdom and giving up the manipulating I do to secure what I believe I need. It is a reckless throwing myself into the arms of God. But then again, with all of his promises to richly reward those who seek him, maybe it is not so reckless after all. Surely it is more reckless to try to secure my paltry kingdom and lose the Kingdom of God in the process.

Swimming Upstream...

We live in a day where we believe we have a fundamental right to happiness -- even if achieving it involves the most outrageous sins. And of course we often believe we must sin to be happy. Deborah Raney has written a sweet book called A Vow to Cherish which tells of the struggle of John whose wife Ellen gets Alzheimers when she is still very young. Sorely missing Ellen's companionship, John meet Julie, whose husband died in a car accident. He is drawn to her and begins making excuses to spend time with her. At his son's wedding, he is deeply convicted that he is being unfaithful to his own marriage vows. What follows is a testimony of the all-sufficient grace of God for the most difficult days, and evidence of the real rewards of obedience. (a surprise, guilt-free reunion with Julie after Ellen dies).

The book, though fiction, is an inspiration to reject the lies of Satan that we must sin in order to be happy, and embrace the truth that obedience brings great reward -- both now and for eternity. Raney is swimming upstream in a culture where some feel-good happiness is routinely sought regardless of the cost. The Puritans' call for us to suffer rather than sin is for a deeper, eternal happiness.

I feel like an Octopus

Last week I was getting ready for Joseph's open house. Our four youngest children were all helping me and we were having a great time, making significant progress. I felt like an octopus --except with 10 arms!! Abigail cut all of the cheese and meat into strips for the antipasto salad, Esther made brownies, Stephen made cream cheese spread for the sandwish wraps, and Andrew cut and arranged vegetables and fruit. My husband tells me not to work alone and I love him for saying that because working together is much more fun.

The fear of God a "choice jewel."

Here is a great quote from John Bunyan. May God give me more fear of God.

"Christian, let God's distinguishing love to you be a motive to you to fear Him greatly. He has put His fear in your heart, and may not have given that blessing to your neighbor, perhaps not to your husband, your wife, your child, or your parent. Oh, what an obligation should this thought lay upon your heart to greatly fear the Lord! Remember also that this fear of the Lord is His treasure, a choice jewel, given only to favorites, and to those who are greatly beloved."

Bunyan, John

House Cleaning for 2009

Yes, 2010 has been rolling for 20 days but I can't resist challenging you with some house-cleaning tips from Doug Phillips' blog. Doug suggests reflecting on 2009 and listing the special mercies and providences of God for the year (and thanking Him.) Secondly, think about which people God has used to bless you and go to thank them. Thirdly, think about who has hurt you, and forgive them. "Life is too short to be bitter."

God has recently convicted me of bitterness. I now can better understand why the writer of Hebrews warns against a root of bitterness springing up and causing trouble. For me the bitterness came with ingratitude, a strong sense of entitlement and a critical spirit. Yuck! Repentance is a wonderful house cleaning, and as I know I will be tempted to bitterness again, I am resolved by God's grace, to do battle against it.

Wilson Wisdom

One of my favorite authors is Douglas Wilson. I love what he writes and how he writes. Here is one of his gems: "Young Christian people should seek to become the kind of person that the kind of person they would want to marry would want to marry."