Saturday, September 8, 2012

Thanks that is 30 years overdue.

This week I wrote a letter to Reformed Book Services, a book store in Ontario, that had a significant impact on my life some 30 years ago:

 To Whom it may Concern,

I have for some time wanted to thank you for being an instrument in God's hands for my salvation.

Thirty years ago I had graduated from Calvin College and was living in Toronto.  The tidy structure of school was gone, and I was fearful and bewildered.

Some years earlier, a friend had introduced me to a devotional  -- all excerpts from works of Martyn Lloyd-Jones.  Delighting in Lloyd-Jones' understanding of depression, I later purchased Spiritual Depression at a used book store, .  A summer free of commitments yawned before me, and when I drove past your store, I decided to stop in.   There I saw volumes of sermons on Ephesians by Lloyd-Jones.   Reading them and taking notes on the sermons seemed a good way to pass some of the summer.

Though I grew up in the Christian Reformed Church, I had a woefully inadequate view of my sin before a holy God.  Sin was robbing banks, stealing someone's spouse,  and stabbing people in back alleys.  Surely it was not a word to describe me through and through.

But God had been gently and surely convicting me of my love for recognition (glory-stealing) and a lack of love for others.  As I read Lloyd-Jones on Ephesians two,  I came to the sentence about not being able to be found unless we are lost.  God showed me his glory and I knew myself to be a sinner before a glorious and mighty GOD.  (I weep as I write).  

I had hoped to be a writer, but then and there I gave my writing and my future to the Lord.  I told him that I wanted to live for his glory. I told him that if my writing was not for his glory, I wanted none of it.

Some years later I married and God gave us eight living children.  God has given me a small place to be faithful in, a perfect place.  I am glad to be his daughter and to have him as my Father.  

And I am grateful for the day he led me to to buy Lloyd-Jones at your store.   May God continue to bless your business for his glory.

For the King,
Jeannette Paulson

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